


Nephilim

by clenchedhands



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Drabble Collection, Emotional Manipulation, Freeform, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Non-Linear Narrative, Other, Psychological Trauma, prose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-22 20:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12490300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clenchedhands/pseuds/clenchedhands
Summary: There is nothing quite like the feeling of thrusting children to do God's work. Nothing quite like their screams when they realize angels are not heavenly in the least. Nothing quite like innocent blood turning rancid before your eyes.When they die, they are relieved.(Please read the notes.)





	Nephilim

**Author's Note:**

> A few warnings:
> 
> there will be blood and gore, as well as psychological trauma in this fic. also it isn't quite linear, and does follow a plot. its somewhere between poetry and stream of consciousness. it probably isnt everyones cup of tea, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "you are not wanted"

** i. **

_They are screaming. Thousands of voices, joined together to create a cacophony. What are they saying? Who are they talking to?_

_They are screaming._

 

It smelled like kerosene when Shinji Ikari awoke. The wail of the evacuation siren pierced every half-formed thought his brain was attempting to create. It blared again and again, a crescendo of fear. 

Flashes of gold, of deep ocean blue, of blood-red, of pure white, of lilac purple. Those are the colors to match the sound.

He remembers this clearly. 

_“I need you to cooperate. You need to work harder, otherwise your existence might as well never have happened. Do this and the world with be yours for the picking.”_

_Mine for the picking. Mine, mine, mine._

 

But cooperation was never his strong suit. Especially not when it came to his father, if you could even call him that. Most people say rage burns red, scarlet, crimson. Shinji knows the truth. It is a deep purple bruise, the color of a furious galaxy. And yet with this knowledge, with the taste of a bitter victory coating his tongue, it meant nothing.

_They are still screaming. You know what they are saying now. You know who they are. They are the Seraphim and they are talking to you._

 

* * *

 

** ii. **

you settled for them. you settled knowing you could do better, be better, become better.

Asuka was told she would cause mountains to bend at the knee, waves to crash louder than thunder, the sky to split open and swallow all her doubts. Her immeasurable, infinite doubts. 

She is crawling to the top of the sky and hanging from the sun at its zenith. Her fiery hair matches the star. She swings, once, twice and lets go. But the universe will not accept her, the stars spit in her face. 

_you are not wanted._

Of course, she cries, voice raw and alive. I know that. I know.

 

Savior. A six letter word. A mantra. A prayer. 

It doesn’t actually exist. If you want to be ripped from this terrible reality you must do it yourself. You must grip your own hands, tear your own skin, taste your own blood. And so, she does. They never told her it would hurt this much, though.

She thought she had seen it all, but there is a certain type of fear that only comes with death. It is the type of fear you didn’t know was possible, the type of visceral gore that heaves the bile from your stomach. 

 

Unseeing eyes are _terrifying_ , she learns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so! im trying something new? i would really appreciate it if yall gave me some feedback. ty in advance!


End file.
